The interwebz has been astir lately with the unsheathing of professional misogynistic womanizing douchenug extraordinaire Julien Blanc, aka RSD Julien. Blanc works for a company called “Real Social Dynamics” (but what does that even mean!?) that specializes in teaching men how to attract women. Seems harmless enough, right? Blanc has this lecture series, PIMP, which supposedly teaches men how to improve their “sex-worthiness” for a flat fee of 2-3 THOUSAND dollars. Classy.
In his series, Blanc gives all sorts of terrible advice on how men can trick women into sleeping with them. Basically, Blanc believes being sex-worthy means being manipulative, abusive and overall slimey. His series claims to teach men to:
Make them beg, you guys! Short circuit them! Like an electrical outlet… or a toaster oven…
He has some real golden ticket ideas, such as asking a woman to:
Blanc is also a supposed expert in the female psyche…
This is an absurd claim coming from a man who is not a woman and therefor could not possibly understand every single notion of how women think. Even I can’t claim that, because I am not every single woman, and surprisingly, women have a diverse array of thought patterns that differentiate from one another. Shocker. Anyway, this kind of rubbish is disheartening because it is literally teaching men how to propagate bullshit.
While I can’t offer insight into all the thoughts of every woman ever, I can offer 3 tips for men genuinely interested in picking up women. Because there is nothing wrong with picking up a woman. There is only something wrong with trying to make her do something she isn’t interested in, or using pick up tactics like shoving her head into your crotch…
Tip one: Find someone who looks genuinely interesting.
This person is someone you actually want to have a conversation with, maybe because they’re attractive or remind you of your 7th grade math teacher or are covered in tattoos or are reading a book about French cooking. Whatever the reason, if you start off by approaching someone you genuinely want to speak with, your chances for making a connection are better. Don’t just try and find someone who looks drunk or lonely or is standing by the exit sign.
Tip two: Don’t use a canned opener.
“Hi, how are you,” works much better than some cheeseball line. I don’t care what your old college roomie swears by; pick-up lines are 99.9 percent awful. Back slowly away. Just be a normal effing human being and try to start a conversation like you would with a colleague or family friend or someone else you respect.
Tip three: Don’t try to trick her.
Tricks are for acrobatics and magicians and dogs. If you’re not looking for anything serious and just want to fool around, that’s totally cool, but be open about it. You don’t have to be a dick about it, just don’t pretend to be romantically interested or claim to be looking for something you aren’t. Here’s a little secret that might just blow your fucking mind: Women like to have sex.
I promise, we do. If you’re open, honest, genuine and likeable, there is a pretty good chance you can still have sex without pretending you want to take our mom to brunch or spend the next six months with us on the couch watching True Blood and eating Chinese take-out.
Do you think these tips are obvious and easy? Well that’s because people like to go home with other people who seem honest and good, not like they’re trying to plaster us on a revenge porn site or crochet a blanket out of our intestines. Keep it simple, and it will be simple.
Sure, there is a good chance tricking a woman into sleeping with you by emotionally manipulating her will work. But there is an even bigger chance it means you’re a douchebag. Let’s try and keep our streets douche-free, shall we? You don’t want to end up like this guy:
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