I don’t have any definitive deal-breakers. Wait, wait, I take that back: anything that could warrant extensive jail-time is probably a deal-breaker, and I have found that I don’t do well with Leos. Lots of fighting and yes, steamy sex, but then more fighting…
Anyway, when it comes to personality specifics, I don’t have any “cat people and sports fans need not apply” rules. Despite the photo above, I don’t have any size rules. Preferences, sure. Rules, no. Relationships are situational, and each one involves a unique combination of personalities, and so they should be looked at by a case-by-case basis.
In the vegan dating realm, many list meat-eating as a definitive deal-breaker. I do not. That being said, here are a few deal-breakers I have run into in the past, along with some from my friends.
The biffy ex. I am friends – or friendly – with all of my exes. I think if possible, it’s important to be on decent terms with someone you used to care so much about. However, there is a level of respect that comes with maintained contact with exes while dating someone new. I once was dating this guy who would spend hours on the phone with a semi-recent ex every day. I would never ask him to change a friendship that was clearly important to him, but it made me feel weird, so I wiggled on outta there before things got messy.
Ultra-possessive. Someone I was dating casually started to get super possessive early on, and it was a big red flag. If you’re my main manpiece and I’m being a shady lady then that’s one thing, but if we’re not even sleeping together yet and you’re already blowing up my phone about where I am all the time, and who I am with, then I can only imagine how much worse it’s going to get once we’re swapping fluids. No thanks.
Stage five clinging. I love that rush you get when you’re super into someone new. It’s like what I imagine a crack high to be like – sudden baffling changes in behavior, insomnia, endorphin rushes, counting down the hours until your next meeting, and poor oral hygiene. I have never knowingly dated anyone with a crack problem, but I went on one date with this guy who lived two blocks away, and he was texting and calling non-stop afterward. This isn’t something I always mind, I definitely don’t have any “rules” about how long you should wait to call for a second date or anything. I got a little weirded out when my date called to “sing me a lullaby” before bed, but the real clincher was when I told him I was busy one evening (not a lie, I was) and he asked if I could just meet him on the street corner so he could “hold me.” Done, and done.
Okay, and some of my friend’s deal-breakers:
- “She ‘wasn’t sure’ about evolution.” – Andy, 26.
- “Laughter! This girl was very nice, vegan, and funny…but her laugh drove me crazy! It was like valley girl laugh circa Clueless. Ugh.” – Drew, 25. (Whatevs, I’m outtie…)
- “ I once dumped a guy because he was so into gambling–horse racing. It wasn’t just that I didn’t like horse racing it was that he had to stop mid-sex to check.” – Anonymous, 28.
- “I had to stop seeing this girl because of hygiene. She often smelled a little…earthy, and that I could let slide, but when I spent a long weekend with her and she was in the same underwear for 4 days in a row…I couldn’t do it.” – Johnny, 31.
- – “This one girl didn’t clip her toenails. I know that’s stupid, but they were so long they curled over and it freaked me out to look at them.” – Jeff, 23.
Okay, what’s the weirdest reason you’ve broken up with someone? Do you have any definitive deal-breakers?