Stuff I Get Off On: 40 Days of Dating

40daysofdating-02Yesterday was a day I got nothing accomplished. Okay, well in full disclosure, I am an Aries so “nothing accomplished” means maybe I got a lot done but not all that I WANTED to do. (Reminder: Live with intention and not expectation.)

Now that the film has wrapped, I am embarking on another huge project, but for some reason all I could do yesterday was troll the Internet. I watched #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen take over Twitter, which was truly enlightening. And I also stumbled on 40 Days of Dating.

40 Days of Dating is a blog created by two friends—NYC-based graphic designers Jessica and Timothy–who were dissatisfied with their love lives so they began dating one another, as an experiment, for 40 days. The blog itself is a mashup of design art and short videos of the pair – clearly from the minds of the visually driven.  There are many rules to their project. I don’t feel like writing them out, so see below:

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 7.09.58 PMThe couple also does daily challenges, like holding hands for 8 hours straight just to see what happens.  (Who peed first guys? I gotta know.)

The blog has been getting lots of media attention. Despite the project being finished, they’ve set it up so updates are released on a day-by-day basis, creating a dramatic reality web style format for their experiment. Critics say it’s unoriginal because isn’t all dating just an experiment? (Answer: Yes.) And isn’t their situation–cowardly yet lovable guy gets together with hopeless romantic girl for a series of entertaining events–like every rom-com ever written? Yes. But it’s still visually appealing, addictive as fuck, and lets us peer into the heads of two very relatable characters. Isn’t that what we’re all about? Self-obsessed voyeurism?

Original or not, this part internet rom-com, part design project resonates with me because I am currently two years deep into a relationship with my best manfriend of a decade. (See: Narcissistic association wins again.)  Getting together in the ooey gooey way after being friends for so long was both very easy and extremely difficult, depending on how you look at it, so I like hearing stories about other people kicking the shit out of the friend zone…or at least seeing if they want to.

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 7.10.25 PMThe best part of the project is the daily question cards they fill out and share. It’s amazing to see how the same event or discussion or comment can be seen two completely different ways, and that viewpoint will affect what goes down in the relationship.

Below is an image snagged from the site:

Screen Shot 2013-08-12 at 10.35.47 PM
When reactions don’t align in a relationship, things can spiral to the point where people are having two completely different relationships… with each other. I feel this project portrays this well.

If the pair don’t continue their relationship past day 40, nothing is lost, really…except maybe their chance at a book deal. The relationship cards partnered with the therapy sessions make it impossible for them not to learn a lot about themselves throughout the process. Even if they don’t find what they want in each other, it seems like they’re finding more about what they want for themselves. Awwww.

Right now they’re up to day 33. Cool project, Jessica and Timothy! I hope you learn a lot about yourselves. Now, off to badger my boyfriend into filling out daily question cards about our relationship….


About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
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One Response to Stuff I Get Off On: 40 Days of Dating

  1. Paul says:

    See I just love the way you write. This project / experiment sounds so appealing to me I want to try it. Well maybe not try it but definately check out the blog and see how it all works out.

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