I originally posted this on iEatGrass.com.
The countdown has begun: Exactly 29 days until I move to Hawaii with my boyfriend to work from our tiny studio apartment (iEG, island style!) and help him film a movie I wrote the script for. Exciting changes, if I do say so myself. But not only will the boyf and I be moving to a new state—scratch that…new ISLAND—where we will have no family or friends close by, but this is our first time living together.
I have written about cohabitation before; I tried it once in a past relationship, it didn’t work out, and the whole concept made me skittish. Where do you go when you’re having a bad day and want to be by yourself so you can cry for no reason without someone asking you what’s wrong? One can only sit in the bathroom for so long before they are randomly gifted Metamucil, “just because.”
Fear of cohabitation, I have owned you. I am not sweating you anymore. In fact, I am beyond stoked to be holed up in a single room with someone who happens to be my someone. This newfound excitement is brewing or a few reasons. The first is that we are making the move for the right reason: because we are ready to move our relationship forward. (Gulp.)
If you move in together for any other reason—financial, convenience, etc.–then it’s probably not going to work out. Living together, signing a lease together, pooling your things and trolling for street furniture together, those are HUGE steps down the commitment road, and anyone who thinks otherwise is in for a rude awakening. If your relationship is not ready, it will become blatantly obvious, and fast. So there’s that. I’m ready because we’re ready. (I know you wanted to know this, Internet.)
Mostly, however, I am ready because we have spent the last two months collaborating on a creative project and creating a business together. On the scale of Really Hard Shit, that trumps living together 10 to 1. You can argue with me on this, but “WTF do you MEAN you didn’t file that LLC last week?!” is hella more important than “WTF do you MEAN you didn’t scoop the kitty litter?” or “Did you pay the cable bill!?!”
The funny thing is that the problems that have risen in our professional relationship are the very same ones that arise in our romantic one, dressed up in a trench and sunglasses. I SEE you, communication issues. You can’t sneak up on me.
Collaborating together on this movie has been stressful. It has been difficult. It has kept me from sleeping well for the past 30 days. But it is so so worth it. There is nothing more ooey gooey than looking at our 110 page script, our team of amazing actors and crew, and saying “WE did that.” We made that creative baby, and it’s real freakin’ cute.
We’re still raising funds for the film via Kickstarter. You can check it out here. And get ready for some entertaining TLVs during the month of June, because I will be freshly cohabited and probably writing from the bathroom.
While putting together our Kickstarter, the boyf and I got a bit inappropriate, and a lot had to be cut. He compiled a nice little blooper reel for something I wrote for xoJane.com, but I am including it in here for you all, too. How Not to Make a Pitch.