My 6 New Year’s Intentions

Because “resolutions” are too harsh

This  photo has nothing to do with anyone I just like these fish.

This photo has nothing to do with anyone I just like these fish.

I know everyone is all about making new year’s resolutions, but I really dislike the word “resolution.” It removes all flexibility, and I like to keep it flexible. Instead, I like to set “intentions.” While both resolution and intention highlight a bit of forward-looking determination, intention just seems so much gentler.

More “no”

I say yes a lot. Yes to new plans when I know I’m already crazy busy. Yes to a second drink when I only wanted one. Yes to going out when I feel like staying in, or my bank account is begging me to stay in. I am not sure where this need to say yes all the time came from, but I guess I assumed successful people gained momentum from saying yes. I mean, saying yes to EVERYTHING is better than saying no to everything, right? And it’s good to get out of your comfort zone and say yes to a plan or adventure that seems a bit risky. But I often find myself in situations where I think, “ugh, why did I agree to do this?” Not this year.

I practiced this on NYE. My manfriend and I felt pressured to go out, even though he was really sick and neither of us felt like trekking to Williamsburg. We showered, got all fancied, put on our hats and jackets and gloves and then at 10 pm stood at the door and simply said “….no.” We then drank wine and watched the ball drop from the couch. Win win win!

More physical connection


Not just with this guy…

You guys—I’m pretty fucking lonely sometimes. Not to be totally whiney, because I have a lot of friends. But many of them are scattered across the country and our visits are few and far in between. And the ones that do live close are incredibly busy being adults. I often find myself missing actual human touch, especially during the week when I’m not spending time with the boyf. I first noticed this in yoga one day when my teacher came around to assist me and his hand on the small of my back felt deliriously comforting. Not in a sexytime kinda way, but just in a OH MY GOD SOMEONE IS TOUCHING ME way.

In truth, days and days can go by without me actually having any physical contact with another human, since most of my snuggletastic friends and family live far away/are really busy, and I’m in a weekends-only relationship. And this lack of contact, and lack of connection, can make me incredibly lonely even if I am sitting in a room full of people. So this year, I hope to do more snuggling with people that aren’t my cat (okay well he isn’t a person but whatever) and spend more face-time with friends–which may demand that I make some new friends, too, or scoot on over to see my family more often.

More travel



Bah okay this is cheating. Sort of like when I add things to my to-do list that I have already done, just so I can cross them off. I already have two trips lined up for 2013. Wait wait…does Disney count as traveling? Whatever, I have never been and I am going! Hoorah!

More cooking


Lonely Instagramming…

And full circle back to loneliness. I have written here how I don’t cook that much anymore, which is sad when I am supposed to have a semi-food blog. But the reason I don’t cook so much is because I don’t find it fun to cook for myself, and I am alone many evenings. Wahhh wahhh. If you follow me on Instagram (do it! @zoahu) then you will often witness my foodporn that is accompanied by the pathetic hashtag, #dinnerforone. I am going to try to cook more this year, and that means I either have to learn to enjoy cooking alone, or invite more friends over for cooking dates. I have barely any (zero) vegan friends in the area so this means I will be foisting my veganism upon all my lovely omni buddies. Cheers to stealthy conversion!

More sex


For “the rest of us!”

Okay this is sort of like when people “give up Oreos” for lent. As if that is really hard? How many Oreos are you eating? But seriously—more sex! There is never enough sex, unless you have sex addiction I guess and if so then sorry if that offended you. But really, sex is my favorite way to connect with my manfriend, and also with myself, so hopefully 2013 will be full of zillions of orgasms. Orgasms for all! Let them eat orgasms! Okay I am done.

More music

In 2011 I set the intention for more live music, and I saw over 100 amazing live shows in 2012. (Two music festivals, Bonnaroo and Firefly, helped bolster that lofty number.) This year, I want to MAKE more music. I have a ukulele and I can barely play anything on it. It’s sad. I am going to dedicate more time to making music this year. Even if it’s in my bedroom, alone, because it’s too terrible to share.


Professionally and for fun, I plan to write more in 2013. More freelancing, more blogging, more working on fiction and nonfiction projects…less editing other people’s writing (my day job, in case you didn’t know) and more creating my OWN.

Looking back on those resolutions most of them sort of follow the theme that I am kinda maybe sort of pathetically lonely. Which is silly because I see people on the reg! But being alone is different than being lonely, so I guess I need to work on my real-life connections.

2013 is going to be a big year full of a zillion big changes for me, most of which I can’t openly talk about on the Internet yet. But things are brewing and I am excited.

Tell me your 2013 intentions (or resolutions..whatever).


About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
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5 Responses to My 6 New Year’s Intentions

  1. Frivolous Monsters says:

    Good luck with your 2013… Sounds exciting!

  2. I love your writing, you’re hilarious. Keep it up!

  3. Absynthe says:

    Had a vegetarian from vegan relapse (ah, the siren song of Wisconsin Sharp Cheddar…) So I’m back on the vegan trail for 2013. Also hoping to purge the physical clutter in order to purge the mental clutter in 2013. I have discovered that scheduling a charity pick up gets me motivated to have at least one box or bag out of the house…

  4. NICK says:

    MORE COOKING. Like next WEDNESDAY when we cook some delicious Vegeo food (vegan meets paleo). I’ll try to dangle less raw meat in your face this time though. I’ll like, hide it in a corner, or slab it on the grill, weather depending. But YES to more cooking and writing! YES YES YES. See, I need to say YES more. Allow me to do the exact opposite of what you are intending to do.

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