The Lusty Vegan: It’s Prime Time…for Sex?

I originally wrote this post for my Lusty Vegan column on i Eat Grass.

Business time!

Sexual Prime! It sounds like some weird sexier version of Law and Order SVU. Huff Post let loose an article this week responding to a new survey that showed women hit their “sexual prime” at 28—which is younger than I had thought. I had always been under a wonky impression that women hit their prime in their late 30s, while men hit their prime in their early 20s, which is why cougaring was a major life goal of mine…Pfft, way to mislead me, Samantha from Sex in the City. You bitch.

It’s important to note that this survey, put out by the sex toy company LoveHoney, was not scientific–but it did poll over 1,200 people.

After reading the results of the survey (which actually said nothing about 28, instead saying 30 is the right number—WTF, Huff Po!) what I really honed in on was the fact that when people stated they are having the BEST sex did not coincide with when they are having the MOST sex.

This makes me wonder what the heck a sexual “prime” is anyway? Is it a peak in your hormones that makes you want it all.the.time? Or is it when you’re most in tune with your body, with what you want sexually, and with the wants and needs of your partner—all of which, in my opinion, lead to the “best” sex.

When you’re in a new relationship, your fresh desire for your partner is rampant—but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have the best sex. Couples who have been together for a long period of time often have less sex, but their sex may be better, because they know what each other wants and likes, and feel more comfortable expressing their needs than they did when things were new.

To me, the “most” sex definitely doesn’t coincide with the “best” sex. I didn’t have my first orgasm until 20 (TMI?) despite the fact that I had been in a handful of bunnyhumpin’ relationships in early college. Many women are preorgasmic for the first handful of  years they are sexually active, because they aren’t in tune with their bodies and aren’t comfortable asking for what they want, or giving to to themselves. To themselves? Quick fun fact: Most men and women have their first orgasm through masturbation. And according to the Kinsey Institute, less than 30% of women have regular orgasms during sex with a partner, while 75% of men do. AND 10-15% of women just don’t orgasm, period. Yikes!

I appreciated that the Huff Po piece discussed how when people hit their peak is going to be different based on the person—everyone has different hormones, and even then, hormones don’t exactly equate peak sexual desire. What if your hormones are peak, but physically you aren’t doing too well. Different things, like medications,illness, diet (cough…GO VEGAN), physical fitness and weight can all affect your sexual desire and your ability for a peak performance. I’ve been on several medications–birth control, and antidepressants–throughout my life that seriously stunted my sex drive. In fact, it was one of the largest reasons I nixed them.

And what about experience? Does experience have anything to do with your sexual prime? Is it the whole “practice makes perfect” concept? Will you want it more, or enjoy it more, after you’ve gotten a few more squeaks out of your mattress?

Last week in our Lusty Vegan Facebook group, we were talking about virginity and a group member said he lost his at 16, to his 17 year old girlfriend who was “experienced.” I loved this because at 17 I also felt “experienced” but looking back I see I was not at all—because experience is relative, right? So can your “sexual peak” be relative, too?

The survey also noted that on average, people have their “best sex” 13 years after losing their virginity. So while I think I have some pretty steamy sex right now, I still have something to look forward to! Woo!

So what do you think? What is a sexual “prime?” Is it when you want sex most, or when your sex is the best? Does it differ from person to person? I wanna know!

Read more Lusty Vegan posts, and a ton of other great posts, on Do it!

About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
This entry was posted in Health, Relationships, Sex and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Lusty Vegan: It’s Prime Time…for Sex?

  1. Shannygirl says:

    13 years after??? CRap! Well I’m 40 and I want it all the time and I know my body and what it likes so I’m gonna say phooey on those polls and claim that I am in my sexual prime! And I hope it lasts and lasts and lasts for the rest of my life! 🙂

  2. I enjoyed that very much. Most of all I enjoyed your perspective.

    Let me begin with telling you that I have been having sex for 47 years and find the idea of a “prime” somewhat ridiculous. Now, there may very well be a prime for producing the greatest possibility of healthy offspring, that being the original point of it all, but, not for enjoying sex. I honestly think it has gotten better with age. But, then again, all that depends upon you being lucky enough to find the right partner. I was lucky. My wife of 43 years is also my best friend.

    What I do find curious is how things have changed, with regard to sexuality, in my lifetime. I honestly think that ubiquitous pornography has ruined sex for many. Such a change in how men, growing up, are taught to “see” women! I think it’s ghastly!

    Contemplate, if you like, what sex must have been like (or, could have been like) in the days when the mere sight of a woman’s naked ankle was exciting to a young man. Since it’s all cerebral anyway I think we make a mistake when we get the idea that MORE = better. Neurologically more usually means “less” stimulating and enjoyable.

    All the Best
    Mrs. N

  3. darkjade68 says:

    Thanks for Following “The Dark Globe”… June is Follower Appreciation Month over there, you should Check it out

    Love your Blog Name by the way… You’ve probably heard that a lot, Lol


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