So how about Tennessee banning the mention of “Gateway Sexual Behavior?” from all sex ed classes?
Sort of like weed being the supposed gateway to heroin, Tennessee claims groping and crotch nuzzling are a direct entryway to rampid fuckery. A controversial bill is currently underway that would ban all teachers from teaching any “gateway” sexual activity. In fact, it suggests all teachers promote abstinence. Behind the bill are pro-marriage institutes, supposedly hoping teens will wait until marriage to have sex—the reason why people marry so much younger in the south, perhaps?
When I first heard about this bill I was horrified. We’re regressing! I thought. It’s 2012, people! I am posting photos of my sex toys on the Internet, and a couple hundred miles away they are banning the discussion of fingerblasting in the classroom? According to state representative John DeBerry in his testimony to the Tennessee House of Representatives, “Everybody knows there are certain buttons when you push them, certain switches when you turn them on, there’s no stopping, especially for undisciplined, untrained, untaught and unraised children who just want to feel affection from somebody or anybody.”
Oh goodness, this is disgusting on so many levels. DeBerry makes these children seem like wild animals—mangey “untrained” dogs starved for a pat on the back or a nice bone (heh). He also calls them “unraised” which is a direct dig at their parents, no? The bills specifically calls out any groin contact, boobage, butt fondling, and thigh molestation…basically everything that makes you popular in high school. Jokes! We all know excellent grades and a schedule heavenly laden with extracurricular activities are the keys to high school popularity. The bill doesn’t mention kissing and hand holding, which I guess are cool.
Luckily, Planned Parenthood of the Greater Memphis region comes to the rescue explaining that students need MORE information about their changing bodies, their sexuality and of course, safe sex, sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy.
And the ever entertaining Steven Colbert made fun of the bill when he said “kissing and hugging are just the last stop before the train pulls into Groin Central Station. We desperately need to intervene earlier keep kids from engaging in … all the things that lead to the things that lead to sex.”
Gateway describes something negative, and while unprotected sex is dangerous, sex certainly is not and shouldn’t be portrayed that way. It’s natural, it’s beautiful, and kids are going to do it regardless of what the teachers say. In fact, if it isn’t allowed to be discussed, that makes it taboo, and if it’s taboo, than you can be damned sure that those Seven Minutes in Heaven games are about to get a lot more interesting. (It probably takes the average teenage boy seven seconds actually…sad but true!)
Teachers need to talk MORE about sex, mainly the ways to do it safely, not less!
Who remembers their Sex Ed? I sort of do. My male health teacher made us watch a video of a birth, but was so uncomfortable, he left the room while we passed notes about felating each other after school watched it. But before he left, he told a story about how he showed up to the birth of his son with a catcher’s mitt and crouched down at the receiving end—a joke which his laboring wife did not find funny.
I don’t remember anything else from Sex Ed because I used to skip health class to chain smoke in the parking lot with my boyfriend who later dumped me because he realized he liked men. No hard feelings, though—not my fault I don’t own a penis! However, I don’t believe my high school actually had a solid sex ed program, all we did was watch that Lifetime movie where Kirsten Dunst gets knocked up by her loser boyfriend. Most of what I learned from sex came from my friends, my parents, the Internet, and a few dirty magazines my brother had.
My friends severely misinformed me. One told me that semen burns your mouth and tastes like sewage and you will have sores in your mouth for days. Either she hadn’t actually gone down on anyone, or she was blowing that smelly yellow dude from Sin City.
When passing notes back and forth about blow jobs—I know, because I saved this note and plan to read it at her wedding—she wrote “Lol. I bet he would get a huge boner in your mouth.” Well…yes…that’s the point. But at the time this was funny and gross.
I WISH someone had sat me down and had a serious sex talk with me in school, even if I rolled my eyes and pretended not to be interested. I also think teachers should be pro masturbation. I would have had so many less problems growing up if I was just diddling myself on the reg afterschool. Seriously! Wait…where are you going?
Okay, who remembers Sex Ed? Who is pissy with Tennessee?