The Lusty Vegan: Man Vs. (Sex) Machine

“This is what you mean by ‘toy,’ right?”

My dad once told me–although he could have gotten this from somewhere else and I am just remembering it as his wisdom bc I’m a closeted daddy’s girl–that a true writer NEEDS to write. If they haven’t written, they feel uncomfortable, like when you really have to pee and there is no time and you’re hopping up and down doing your little pee dance. Okay my dad did not mention a pee dance, I peppered that in myself. What I am getting at is that when I don’t have time to post on SexyTofu I get antsy. Because I just know all fourteen of you out there are stressing over it. Plus I like to create! I want to be creative! This is about me, here.

There is nothing like having zero time to blog and then remembering, oh yes, I can post a redirect to my Lusty Vegan column on iEatGrass! Phew! So, here it is. This week, an email convo with a sexy vegan friend of mine circled around to sex toys, and the man’s take on them. Here is the lovechild of that conversation…

The Lusty Vegan: Man Vs. (Sex) Machine

I suppose I have never lost my inner child, because I still get excited when I get a new toy—and I’m not talking Transformers action figures. Since I write about sex and review sex toys, I suppose it isn’t all that surprising I feel like a kid on Christmas when a box arrives at my door containing a new product to review. I will never forget my room-mates exclamation: “Is that a FIVE POUND box of lube?”

But for those who don’t like to write about their masturbation habits on the Internet, I know sex toys can be a bit of a taboo topic. This is partially why I like reviewing them—to invite people to buy them and hopefully explore a different side of their sexuality. But for most, a sex toy—if owned at all—is something given as a gag gift and then hidden in a nightside table and taken out occasionally, or when the kids are asleep, the boyfriend is at work, etc. Why do I say “when the boyfriend is at work?” Well, the majority of toy owners are women, and the majority of men (but not all!) are a bit intimidated by a battery powered pleasure bot. They view them as a rival, when they should be viewing them as an aid. Men, if your girlfriend’s vibe could talk, it would say “I got your back, bro. Let’s get on this, Bang Bus style. Hive five! Bzzzz.”



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