Dating and Money: A Man’s Perspective

That's too much cash for a hipster...

Recently I got into a bit of a text-a-thon with my friend Tyler about money and dating, and how he can tell when he is into a girl by his willingness to pay. I always love to pick the brain of the opposite sex because, really, I don’t understand it! So, I found Tyler’s methods of figuring out how much he likes someone extremely interesting.

The conversation begins with money talk because I was trying to bully Tyler into joining my Tough Mudder team. He can’t join for political reasons. However, he was trying to blame it on money so he didn’t have to say “I can’t be on a Tough Mudder team with you and your new boyfriend because we met through your ex boyfriend who is my childhood best friend.” Don’t worry, Tyler, you don’t have to say it! I know. And now, so does everybody else. You’re welcome!

Anyway the money conversation segued to who pays for what in a relationship.

T: Girls shouldn’t pay for shit. Relationship money is a boy’s problem

Z: What? Really? You don’t think girls should pay for anything?

No I don’t believe that at all haha it’s just the stereotype.

No one believes that anymore I don’t think…

Well you obviously haven’t grown up in a conservative household

Well I haven’t dated a guy who felt that way since I was 17…(which ironically is around the same time he started having to use his own money, so really I was dating his mother.)


How is that lucky?

Oh, I thought we were gonna get into a big feminist thing.

No! I mean, I don’t ever expect anyone to pay for me, I’m a big girl with my own big girl money. I don’t mind paying for myself. But it’s always nice when they insist.

See, I pay for a lot of shit when I date a girl.

It’s always somewhat 50/50 with the people I date. Like maybe they pay for dinner, but I get it next time, or I pick up the bar tab, etc.

That usually starts happening for me late in the relationship. I can judge how I feel based on my willingness to pay. It’s an effective system.

Wow, that’s interesting. This is an interesting dating topic! May I publish this anonymously?

Yeah, Sexy Tofu it! And you don’t have to do it anonymously…link to my Twitter.

Any more ways you can tell if you’re into a girl?

Yeah, If I’m willing to accompany her on mundane errands.

What’s an example of a mundane errand?

Shopping, mainly for groceries. If I can get through a trip like it’s no big deal, I know I’m into her. If I have to leave 5 minutes in to go loom at car magazines, well the sun is beginning to set…

Will you watch her shitty TV shows?

Absolutely. Except Bad Girls Club. I can take Jersey Shore and Real Housewives, but not Bad Girls Club.

I don’t know any of those…I don’t watch TV (Oh gross I am such a snob…)

Well I don’t like them, but If I’m into her… you know…

Pffft, SURE you don’t like them! Follow Tyler on Twitter @Tyler_MaC, and tune in next week as I give him sage fashion advice. Poor thing…

Men, how do you know when you’re into someone? Ladies, how can you tell? I can always tell how much I like someone by how tempted I am to text them back while driving (don’t ever do this). Who pays for what in your relationship? I wanna know!


About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
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4 Responses to Dating and Money: A Man’s Perspective

  1. Little Miss says:

    I pay one time, the man the next. But it depends on how much earning as well. My ex earned twice as much in a day as I made in a week, so occasionally he would take me somewhere nice but when he was unemployed I wouldn’t let him pay much.
    Tit for tat.
    If i like a guy, I’ll let him pay on the first date, if not I’ll pay half

  2. Emily says:

    I have never been comfortable with guys paying for me on dates. I go into a kind of internal panic mode about what they are expecting in return. (Is there some kind of proper exchange rate to dinner + movie that I never learned in middle school?!?! Due to the rising cost of ticket prices, does dinner + movie = grope? Or is it immune to inflation?)

    In all, men paying for me makes me feel like I owe them something, and not fully in charge of what happens next. If I do want things to end sexy, I want it to be by choice and on my terms. I don’t want to feel like I am always balancing out an equation; making sure that I am not “giving” too much or too little. As much as I want to be that free, sexual non-conformist, it ain’t comfortable if your partner secretly thinks you’re easy.

    As an anthropology student, it’s hard for me not to see some kind of gift exchange in dating. I could even do Bourdieu proud and make up a super dry title like “Heterosexual Courtship Behavior in the American University System.” Whoop!

    I’ve created a few awkward situations by insisting on paying for myself- some guys see it as an open refusal, even if I don’t mean it that way. It’s made me reconsider my stance, even if it means squelching my inner sex accountant.

    Sorry that I wrote a novel, I gots lots of feelings.

  3. Pingback: Dress to Undress: I Dress My Friend Tyler and Get Him Laid « Sexy Tofu

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