Being a vegan, it’s no surprise I love animals. I like to snuggle them, talk about them, and learn about them. And because I like to talk about and learn about sex, it’s also no surprise I like learning about the sex habits of different species. And animals do have very fascinating mating habits. I’ve talked about this topic twice on here the past two months alone; Once when talking about Green Porno, Isabella Rossellini’s terrific series on the mating and seduction habits of animals, and once when discussing my field trip to the Museum of Sex in NYC.
Sometimes I tweet awk sex/animal facts, too.
But one reader, J, from sunny California, emailed me over a story about the way the sexual behavior of animals–or at least, one position in particular–changed his sex life. And I have turned it into a lovely guest excerpt because I find him humorous and refreshing (and was too lazy to respond with more questions, as deadlines at work are KILLING ME. Not softly a la Fugees. They’re slamming me hard).
Monkey Style: How A Zoology Document Changed My Sex Life Forever
By J Boybutter
This was a long time ago. My girlfriend at that moment was doing classical studies but her roommate was doing her undergrad diploma in biology. The roommate had brought a documentary about mating habits of animals. She suggested we watch it later. One night, when the roommate was away, my gf put the zoology documentary cassette in the video tape player (yes, it was in the VHS era!) and pressed play. We were kinda broke and this would be our entertainment for the night. Everybody loves animal docs. Right? The movie didn’t turn any of us on but it did make us laugh and learn a few things on the animal kingdom.
We learned that female baboons were “giving a hand” to their male mates as foreplay, that some insects normal way of mating were “gangbang” and that Bonobos were practicing some kind of primate prostitution (food for sex) among themselves and that the alpha females from the herd had huge genitals. We also learned that macaque female monkeys were unfaithful to the leading males whenever they had a chance. Macaque’s mating habits kinda resemble “doggy style” to the exception that the female isn’t spreading her legs. The male stays on the feet and does his deed while his hands are on the female’s hips. I had never really seen that position in erotic movies and/or pictures before. And I don’t consider myself as unliterate in “porn.” I had seen my share of it in my teens. I tried the position and it turned out to be the most pleasurable position I ever experienced. One could argue that this is not a very romantic position. I don’t know if you’re like me, but I like to go through a few positions in a single sex session and this one is a bit like the cherry on the Sundae. That’s how a zoology documentary changed my sex life.
Thanks J Boybutter! Anyone else wanna tell me what changed their sex lives?