Last night I watched the Victoria’s Secret fashion show because well, I have a huge lady crush on Adriana Lima, I have a previously confessed panty problem and also was in the mood to stare at a few dozen boobs parading down a runway. The show opened with a black-swan lake moment, “The Ballet,” then a “Super Angels” supertits show, then some goth inspired corset stuff titled “I Put a Spell on You,” and, my favorite—the “Angels Aquatic” mermaidy theme. Hello jelly boobs. I mean, jelly fish.
Now growing up I remember poring over Victoria’s Secret catalogs—remember when Tyra was a model for them? Now I don’t want to call the catalog models “normal” looking because there is nothing “normal” about a picture perfect, Is-That-Airbrushed, where do you COME from woman who I suspect was really made in a factory in Brazil. Adrianna Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Orlando’s Baby Mama—they all grace the pages looking super toned and fit, but healthy. Healthyish, at least.
This was not the case with the runway show, and I must say I was pretty disheartened. The aforementioned trio was there looking slammin’. (Even Miranda Kerr who had Orlando’s baby 10 months ago!! Bitch. Just kidding, power to your hot woman-ness.)
Many of the models looked like they were at a healthy weight, but there were also a handful looking freakishly skinny. Like, heroin chic thin, which I thought went out of style in the 90s? No? Anyway, I turn to Victoria’s Secret for Tits and Ass. And if their models are all clavicle and hip bone and make me want to throw a cookie at my TV set, then there is a problem! The costumes were great, the lingerie amazing, but some of the models were clearly not at a healthy weight, and it made me upset. Scarily thin, I’m-all-elbows-and-knees type bodies don’t hold sex appeal, nor are they something to be coveted. SO please Victoria’s Secret—next year make sure your models have a little more meat on their bones—it will send a better message, and will help them fill out their bra/panty sets better, too.