A Weekend in the Life of a Burrito Fiend

Piers in Ptown..photo compliments of PP

This past weekend I took a road trip with a cute boy to Provincetown, Massachusetts where we climbed sand dunes in the dark, howled at the moon, made plans to murder townies (jokes!), and consumed many burritos. If you don’t think that sounds like fun don’t read the rest of this post.

My family took me to Ptown every fall as a child, which I didn’t think was weird at all until I revisited after an 8 year time lapse (yay, divorce!). Provincetown is super liberal.  Everyone loves up on each other despite sexual orientation or bad hygiene, sings in the streets and talks loudly about vibrators. Okay, that’s not completely true but we did overhear some really great sex-toy conversations while walking through crowds. “But no one really uses that 5th speed, it’ll make your teeth chatter like youre going through meth withdrawal!” (No one said that. I made that up. And I have no idea what meth withdrawal would be like.)

The streets are smattered with ice-cream shops, antique shops, over-priced tattoo parlors and sex shops with mannequins wearing tutus and bondage propped up on the streets inviting visitors in. When I was looking at bed and breakfasts for me and said cute boy, I found one that boasted its “clothing optional hot tub deck.” See why it was perhaps a strange choice for my family to make for our annual fall destination location? And why vaca in the fall? Ptown in the fall is much more relaxed (read, less expensive, and less full of touristy weirdos who smell like BO and taffy and want to rub shoulders, but mostly less expensive) than Ptown in the summer.

The only problem with going in the fall is, if you’re a vegan, eating isn’t nearly as fun as it could be in the summer. Being food obsessed, I was looking into where we would eat before I bothered looking into where we would stay. Our original plan was to park my car in a Walmart parking lot at night and sleep in the back like a couple of hippies. Unfortunately there aren’t any Walmarts near Provincetown. There are tons and tons of Seamen’s Banks, however. I am not too stuck up to sleep at a Walmart. I am, however, too stuck up to eat there! And I am far far too immature to make deposits at a Seamen’s bank. Pffft.

Anyway, I digress. All of the places I wanted to eat at in Ptown were closed for the season. There was Tiny’s, the place that boasted local food, Karoo Kafe, the South African place that broke my heart and this place Devon’s where I really wanted to order vegan French toast. Boo.

So what’s a vegan to eat in the land of taffy and ice-cream and lobster rolls? Burritos.

 Big Daddy’s Saucy Tofu burrito, and their squash and corn burrito, saved my life. No not really, but they made me really happy for each 6 minute period it took me to an inhale a burrito. Almost as happy as I was to take note that one of the sex shops, Toys of Eros, had cruelty-free sex toys! Way to be compassionate, Ptown.

Those are leg straps, in case you need some cruelty free leg straps…because holding your own legs open is just too difficult, apparently.


About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
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