Today’s Rant: Guess Who Has Sex?

Their parents had sex. From the look of it, I am guessing their parents were also siblings...it happens...

This rant is inspired by an XoJane.com post by writer Lesley Kinzel, interviewing Hanne Blank, author of Big Big Love. Big Big Love, although I have not read it—YET (I just ordered it on Amazon because I spend too much money when I walk into a bookstore) is about, to be PC, plus sized sex. It’s about fat sex, and embracing your body and sexuality at any size! Woohoo! Some people don’t like to think about overweight people having sex, just like some people don’t like to think about two men having sex or two women having sex, because they are bigoted and/or close minded. So let me list some more people that have sex.

Your mom has sex. Your boss has sex. Your Starbucks barista has sex. Your ex has sex (boohoo, deal with it). Your grandparents’ might still be having sex depending on their age and if they still have their hips. Your little sister will eventually one day have sex. Your kids, too. Ugly people have sex. Poor people have sex. Homeless people have sex (with other homeless people? Who knows!). People with cancer have sex. People who love bugs have sex. People who love snakes have sex. People who love food have sex. People who love ponies have sex. People who love balloons have sex. People who love feet have sex. People who love to pretend they are other people have sex. Your mailman has sex. That asshole in 10th grade who called you a lesbian and said he wanted to hang you with his tie because he secretly wanted to sleep with you has sex (may you contract herpes, dickhead!). Your best friend has sex (and hopefully calls you after—not during—to dish). Men have sex (with men). Women have sex (with women). People have sex in parties. People have sex at parties! People who are deaf have sex. People who are missing limbs and organs have sex. The guy in the office cube next to you has sex. Celebrities have sex. When I was a little girl, my Barbies had sex…in their Barbie apartment. Your room-mate has sex. Your brother has sex. Hookers have sex—they fall in love, too! Your damn dog would have sex if you didn’t neuter it and maybe let it out of the house once in a while, fascist (kidding I am totally pro-neuter/spaying!).

Okay now enough of that rant. I was going to provide links to all sorts of great fetish sites for much of what I mentioned above (snake sex, bug sex, balloon sex, pony play) but considering I wrote this on lunch from my office computer, I don’t want my web history to be even raunchier than it already is. I sort of like having a job. Anyways, watch this video of this amazing Cole Porter song, here done by Ella Fitzgerald, and embrace the fact that all sorts of people of all shapes, sizes, colors have sex.

About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
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