Okay so, everyone is hustling about getting ready for Irene! The stores are completely out of water, flashlights, and batteries. While I have a flashlight, I don’t have batteries and checked 6 stores before giving up So, while having an end of the world cuddle session with my friends Sean and Sarah, we think…while everyone else is running around buying provisions, where do we go? To VIP, of course. VIP is the largest adult super store in New England. I only know this because it says so on their sign. We grabbed lunch and headed down there to get all sorts of fun stuff to keep us (individually) entertained in case the power goes out/world ends/zombies arrive. And, what do we find when we get there? That VIP might be the only store in the area to still have flashlights AND batteries. The batteries of course are meant for the small power tools masquerading as sex toys, and the flash lights actually double as both a flash light AND a sex toy. How perfect?
Also, we found–but did NOT purchase–this super degrading blow-up doll that is supposed to resemble Kim Kardashian. Aside from being degrading because, well, it’s a blow up doll, “Kinky Kim” is shown on the cover eating a cheese burger while taking a mayo money shot to the face. On the back, her nipples are discreetly covered with tomato slices. Very classy, let me tell you.
SO, how did YOU prepare for the storm? I hope you found someone sexy to hibernate with. I wasn’t lonely enough to take home Kinky Kim. Maybe next time a hurricane comes to town.