Tomorrow I am going to see a Britney Spears concert. Yeah, that’s right, and I am not (too) embarrassed about it either. Your first love never dies…I had her pics (courtesy of Teen Beat) taped all over my bedroom walls in the 5th grade. I dumped my first(ish) boyfriend and then, when he rode his bike to my house to cry or whatever, I emailed him Britney Spears lyrics telling him in rhyme to leave me alone. So what she got knocked up (twice) by some loser back-up dancer and shaved her head? Bitch made a comeback.
Anyways, the real reason I love B spears is no, not because her music is amazing (I admit, she is very autotuned..), or because she danced around on stage wrapped in a 13 foot snake (jealous!) but because she is a freak and she is proud of it. I knew it before I knew what a freak was. Her first hit single, Hit Me Baby, had all sorts of people hopped up because they said she was promoting domestic violence. People, come on now! Clearly, she just wanted to be spanked like the naughty school girl she was. Her loneliness was killing her! I got this (sort of) at 10, so it can’t be that hard.
Her latest hit, I Wanna Go, is about letting out her inner freak, which she has been repressing because err’ body is always up in her bidness. Not cool.
Recently I was talking to a friend and he told me he thinks he watches too much porn, not (only) because of the hours he logs doing so, but because he is ridiculously freaky to the point he is worried he will scare whoever he is sleeping with if he were to just come out and say what he wants. That is a really sucky situation, because you should feel totally comfortable with whoever you’re sleeping with—to the point that you can do (or say) whatever turns you on and gets you off.
I have heard sex gets better as you age, and I think this is not only because you become more seasoned, but because as you grow and mature you (hopefully) become more comfortable with who you are and what you want. Most teens and twenty-somethings are extremely self conscious, to the point they are (like my friend) worried about what they say and do and how it will be perceived. If I get in the position I want, will I jiggle or flop about and turn my partner off? If I say what I really want, will they laugh at me? Will they pull out and tell me “No I will not do that to you—this isn’t a gang bang!” leaving me self-conscious and embarrassed and forcing me to run into the bathroom to “pee” (cry)?
My advice to anyone who is repressing their inner freak in the bedroom is to make like Britney and show your dirt off. If your lovebunny isn’t into it, and you can’t find a comfortable medium that both of you are happy with, well maybe you should find a different partner! Sex is important in a relationship, and if you aren’t satisfied, it will show in other areas. Plus, maybe they are also afraid to let you in on what they want! Have a little fantasy swap sess and see where it goes. Come on! Doooo it! (And then tell me about it in the comment section.)