Granny’s Got the Clap…

So you must have realized by now that I like to talk, er, blog, about sex. But sometimes while blogging about sex, it becomes imperative to blog about the outcomes of sex. Sometimes it’s crazy insane jealousy, or babies, but in this case…it’s STDs.

I’ve always said I would rather get knocked up than contract an incurable STD…I mean, if I had a baby, there is a good chance that at some point in its life it would be cute. The same can’t be said about an STD.

So while perusing the news at work (I love my job!) in search of saucy real estate tips (eh..), I came across a far more interesting article by Marni Jameson of the Orange County Register titled “Seniors’ sex lives are up , and so are STD cases.” 

Apparently states that are highly populated with aging baby boomers (read: Florida) are also now highly populated with STDS. Between 2005 and 2009, the number of reported cases of Syphilis and Chlamydia among those 55 and older rose 43 percent, according to an Orlando Sentinel analysis of data provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And in retirement communities, the, the increase has been even steeper.

I’m glad that the old folks are still actively getting it on. I mean, they are retired after all—what else is there to do but golf, knit sweaters and have sex?

In response to the increasing cases of STDs in seniors, Medicare may begin providing coverage for STD screenings for seniors. Recently, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Office declared it was actively looking into adding STD exams to the national health-insurance program, which already pays for HIV screenings. Plus, according to Jameson, Medicare is weighing the benefits of paying for behavioral counseling for sexually active seniors. Perhaps the counseling will be done by Dr. Drew and broadcasted on VH1.

Either way, I hope I’m still gettin’ down in my golden years…Hopefully, Alzheimer’s won’t affect my ability to remember to use a condom.

In other news about rampant STDs, on my drive to work this morning I overheard salacious gossip about an unnamed celebrity who is suing another unnamed celebrity for giving them herpes…for $20 million!! I find this to be absurd…if you don’t want to contract herpes you should either have safe sex or make sure your partner has been tested (or both!). If you can’t (or are too drunk to) do either of the above, then that sucks, but is NO reason to sue for such an absurd amount of dough.

General poll: would you willingly contract herpes for $20 million!!? ( I vote no..)


About SexyTofu

Good food. Good sex. Good fun.
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2 Responses to Granny’s Got the Clap…

  1. NICK says:

    The TMZ link at the bottom is dead, but now I’m super curious! WHO WAS ITTT! Also – yeah, kudos to old people for continuing to bang each other. It gives me hope for the future. The really, really, far, far away future.

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