We’ve seen it in porn, er, I mean movies, a million times. Movies like the trashy Wild Things and sensual Vicky Cristina Barcelona made hot and heavy ménage trois’ look like more fun than these piano stairs. Actually, both on-set three-ways ended terribly. Go figure. Many people who have gotten themselves into a love triangle know that, unless there are absolutely no strings attached, threesomes can be about as fun as the morning after you pounded eleven back-to-back tequila shots. So before diving under the covers with more than one playmate, read the following. Below, I outline four different types of people looking to get into a threesome, and why they should or shouldn’t go for it.
The Pleaser: If you’re considering a threesome solely to satisfy a partner who thinks it would be a good idea, I would think twice before inviting someone else into the bedroom. The situation itself might be awkward, and the aftermath might make you resentful of your partner, jealous (duh) and hurt.
The Proposer: If you’re the one who has proposed the idea of a threesome to your partner, you should be 100% sure that your love bunny is up for it before you start trolling Craigslist. If they seem at all hesitant, and you like your relationship, I would drop the idea and see if you can think of another way to get experimental and work out your fantasy. If it’s just the idea of a threesome you like, maybe work that theme into some dirty talk. As in “If there was another girl here I would ____ her _____ while you ____ my _____.” Also, ask yourself why you are so interested in a threesome in the first place. Are you bored? Is it something you have always been interested in trying? Or are you simply interested in gettin’ down with someone new while remaining (sort of) monogamous. If it’s the latter, you might want to ask yourself if you’re really happy in your relationship.
The Experimental Couple: If you are part of a pair and both of you think it would be fun to tag-team someone, be sure to talk it out thoroughly before you dive in. If either of you are the jealous type, you might want to reconsider.
The Casuals: This is probably the ideal situation for someone seriously considering a threesome. With no relationships or strings attached to either of your bedroom buddies, than the chances for resentment, jealousy and hurt feelings are minimal. The chances for herpes are higher, however, so make sure everyone covers their junk before they…spelunk?
Check out this interesting NY Times online feature on the history of the threesome and how popular they actually are in real life, according to a seven-day study of NYC Craigslist ‘casual encounters’ posts.