If it weren’t for my boyfriend, I wouldn’t know about anything. It took me three days to figure out Michael Jackson died, and I was walking around like an idiot thinking ugh, why is everyone playing Thriller? Today he clued me in on the controversy going on with the TSA involving the fact that many airport scanners now put all your bits and pieces on display. Talk about a lack of privacy. However, like any good American, someone quickly realized they could make a profit off of the fact not everyone is comfortable flashing total strangers. (Some people can be real prudes..) Someone clever created Flying Pasties, found at flyingpasties.com, a place where you can order pasties to well, paste, over your lady lumps-or whatever else you may be packin’. Even more ingenious, the pasties say funny things like “Only My Boyfriend Sees Me Naked.” Of course, you can also custom create your own. I was thinking something like “Sorry, No Tassles” or “Okay, Now It’s Your Turn.” The only problem I had with the site was that I could see my shopping cart, but was unable to fill it with anything because I couldn’t find where to choose my pasties! Maybe I am spastic but I spent a good bit of time trying to navigate the site and kept coming up with cool news clips and the same repetitive picture of some hottie covered in different pasties. (By good bit of time, I meant like, 45 seconds. I’m impatient!) I ended up finding them, but it took way too long, and I left the site feeling stupid I had played such a long pastie game of Where’s Waldo?, and full of pastie envy derived from said pastie hottie who clearly has more than her fair share of pastie love to spread around. Also it took me a while to figure out if the singular of pasties was pasty or pastie, and then I found the following picture which ruined my still fervent childhood love of Mary Kate and Ashley.