The cougars are in heat…
Cougars are prowling the Hollywood scene like never before; Mariah Carey, Kim Catrall and of course Demi Moore are all sharpening their claws (no offense Demi, but I would pick Bruce over Ashton at any age). And judging from the way my twenty-something year-old pals talk about Justin Beiber, they may be getting even younger.
These younger cougars, usually still in their early thirties, are actually referred to as pumas, and will blossom into cougars when they roll into their 40s. There are even dating sites for cougars and the younger guys who are looking for em, such as Cougar Life; The Ultimate Catch. And truly, a cougaresque relationship could be the ultimate catch.
They may be considered ideal for both parties involved because it makes sense, at least sexually speaking. Women typically hit their sexual peak in their mid-thirties, whereas men hit theirs a decade earlier and many are already winding down by the time their female partners are just getting started. (Of course, this is just the average libido and doesn’t include the random randy old man lurking around).
Plus, when men snag a cougar they not only are dating a woman who knows what she wants in bed (and isn’t afraid to ask for it) but also who knows what she wants in life too. She is usually further along in her career and secure, which means she isn’t calling or texting him 50 times a day just to ‘see what he is doing’. Not that I know anyone who does that…
The cougar may even be more financially stable than her catch, and so now not only is the man dating a hot older woman but he has a new sugar mama as well. And what does the cougar get? She gets the benefit of having someone who matches her sexual stamina in bed and of course the plus of having foxy man-candy to rub in the faces of her angry married friends with four kids and a husband sporting a beer gut more obvious than Donald Trump’s comb-over.
However, there are a few elements to these relationships that have sparked my cougarosity. For one, men are usually a good bit behind women on the maturity scale. So while a 38-year-old cougar may be snagging a 28-year-old dynamo in bed, she may also now be dating a guy with the emotional maturity of an 18-year-old (anyone up for a keg stand!?!). While he may be happy she isn’t blowing up his phone or rattling off all the things she ate today, she may not be so happy when he is the drunkest person at her office party, has seriously stunted communication skills or is still weirdly attached to his mother. And then there is the thing that really, really pisses me off. When a woman dates a younger man, she is a cougar. When a man dates a younger woman, no one gives him any special animal kingdom name (hawk? weasel? praying mantis?) . Unless he is pulling a Humbert Humbert, or marrying his own adopted daughter ala Woody Allen, no one really pays much attention to it at all. Yet another double standard to frustrate me endlessly.
These things aside, I give props to any woman who is confident enough to go after what she wants, be it in bed, in her career, or at the bar full of men a decade (or two) younger than her. Get it, girl.